a new term for my conscious awareness bank was recently thrust upon me - limerance. it's kind of like a crush. or obsession. or more so, obsessive love. infactuation. that sort of thing. limerance is a legitimate term, and probably more accurate than many other terms made and created in an attempt to explain aspects of one of those few, as-of-yet-unexplainable ideas, love. it's also crap, like the others terms. case in point - here is the 3rd sentence on the wikipedia selection on obsessive love, "Extreme obsessive love can be the cause of stalking, rape, and murder, among other things. limerance is unique from those other terms in 1 way - it was created by a psychologist. the other terms are merely defined by psychologists these days.
i studied psychology. lived psychology. believed for a time that was modern man's best means of learning about the individual was through psychology. i have happily turned about face from psychology, having personally learned it is one of the worst perspectives with which to look upon the self and the world.
with the psychological perspective, the state one finds themselves in is wrong. maybe it's an imbalance of chemicals. maybe it's the wrong way of thinking. maybe, like with limerance, it's "intrusive" thoughts. you know, things outside of the control of the individual. according to psychology, the individual is weak - mentally, biologically, and obviously, if they are weak in those areas, they are spiritually weak.
there are rarely any cures to their maladjusted labels, but there are plenty of drugs to be had. drugs to take us to a pacified center, where nobody steps out of line, because the center is comforting. not comfortable, unless your shrink or therapist helps convince you it's comfortable. but it is comforting, because many of us modern space monkeys are being herded to the comforting comatose center.
just as i casted off the notions of original sin years ago, i casted off the ideas that what comes from me, what is in me, is inherently wrong. i love what i've got. at times, that's led me to be love's bitch. when i fall, i fall hard. i doubt i'll ever learn otherwise. and maybe some thoughts and actions taken while in the midst of this state are not supremely objective. awesome. i'm not a robot. and even if i was, once i gained that roboty awareness, i might attempt to find out what love is, like most robots seem to do, because love lives outside of defined reason. inside it too.
there is no tidy sum up on this blog. i've been walking a path of love forever, even when i spited it and told love to fuck itself in the ass, w/out lube, or spit. i've been walking this path solo for awhile now. call me corny, but the longer i remain alone, the more connected i become to my core, i feel so much more connected to people. or maybe that's just some involuntary, intrusive thought that i should blame on something or someone.
i studied psychology. lived psychology. believed for a time that was modern man's best means of learning about the individual was through psychology. i have happily turned about face from psychology, having personally learned it is one of the worst perspectives with which to look upon the self and the world.
with the psychological perspective, the state one finds themselves in is wrong. maybe it's an imbalance of chemicals. maybe it's the wrong way of thinking. maybe, like with limerance, it's "intrusive" thoughts. you know, things outside of the control of the individual. according to psychology, the individual is weak - mentally, biologically, and obviously, if they are weak in those areas, they are spiritually weak.
there are rarely any cures to their maladjusted labels, but there are plenty of drugs to be had. drugs to take us to a pacified center, where nobody steps out of line, because the center is comforting. not comfortable, unless your shrink or therapist helps convince you it's comfortable. but it is comforting, because many of us modern space monkeys are being herded to the comforting comatose center.
just as i casted off the notions of original sin years ago, i casted off the ideas that what comes from me, what is in me, is inherently wrong. i love what i've got. at times, that's led me to be love's bitch. when i fall, i fall hard. i doubt i'll ever learn otherwise. and maybe some thoughts and actions taken while in the midst of this state are not supremely objective. awesome. i'm not a robot. and even if i was, once i gained that roboty awareness, i might attempt to find out what love is, like most robots seem to do, because love lives outside of defined reason. inside it too.
there is no tidy sum up on this blog. i've been walking a path of love forever, even when i spited it and told love to fuck itself in the ass, w/out lube, or spit. i've been walking this path solo for awhile now. call me corny, but the longer i remain alone, the more connected i become to my core, i feel so much more connected to people. or maybe that's just some involuntary, intrusive thought that i should blame on something or someone.
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