we can leave ourselves high and dry anytime we choose. after a few nearly absolutely stress free days, i began doing that yesterday. and continued it today. and yes, as the song would lead one to believe, "it wears me out."
i had my initial dental exam yesterday - 15 cavities. this made more sense to me that my US dental exam, seeing as i can see 9 front cavities, and i know there are ones in the back, too. i went forward with the cleaning. then got the estimate - over $900. my uplifted being sunk. that would be a huge portion of my saved funds. maybe 6 months or more of central american living on a volunteer basis. i scheduled to come back in the afternoon and get the most diseased tooth worked on, but i wasn't sure i'd be fixing all my teeth.
enter sadness. like a windfall - me being hurt by the news of a dental bill double over what i was hoping for/expecting - hurt begat hurt. now i was sad. and lonely. and missing the world i knew. longing to talk to others. to loved ones. resisting that. deciding i'd resolve these feelings within myself.
reading helped - i'm taking my good ol' beatnik time through on the road, wondering if dean moriarty looks as much like me as he seems like me, to me. the internet didn't help too much; if anything, it worked against me, seeing as people were so close, and as the saying goes, so far away.
it also helped that, upon re-arriving at the dentist office, Dr. Torres had decided i was not a rich american, and decided to strike a deal with me. he'd cut my bill by 1/3 - $600 flat, to fix and fill all 15 cavities + the exam and cleaning. in return, i would talk him up to tourists, and if applicable, friends and family. i also helped him make his broken english business card into proper english, and we decided together that i'd pass out some cards of his. done. let me shake your hand over and over. you have my gratitude.
he then filled 2 cavities. i opted for no anesthesia. my mouth is not quite james frey level, but still, 15 cavities w/out a pain killer could be, err...painful. the largest and deepest cavity came first - he spent awhile with that drill, but it was hardly what i'd call painful. stubbing my toe hurts more. an intense hike, or better yet, the day or 2 after the intense hike, hurts much more. this was more like a gnat.
i thought of fight club asi had my eyes closed to start off, going to a painless happy place in my mind. no, i'd take this, feel this. and it was okay, even pleasurable, to be conscious and with all my senses and pain receptors active; i wouldn't lye about that :)
having a great sunset also helped. ditto a great score at the fruit stand's garbage can just after the seller packed up shop for the night. same for an early and great night's sleep. and yet...
and yet, i awoke sad. and dissatisfied. partly because i yearn for a lover's touch. mainly because, although the quaint town of Orosi is a lovely part of my foreign path, i don't see myself here long. not as a hotel worker who's bound to a hotel, unable to roam freely, to walk freely, to jungle hike freely, for long bits of time. so i've been searching and sending out feelers to many places i've learned of old and new, in an effort to determine the next place or places i may go.
oh, i just may return here. but to the farm on the mountain top, where currently there are no active projects. but come january, there'll be a large project - building an earthship for a guy that may be john dunham's long lost brother; i took over for him, spent my first few days with him, engaged in hrs upon hrs of conversation, often led by him. he's a fun dude, and i smile thinking of him, and john.
i wasn't willing to return to what i knew today through touch, but i did return in spirit. i'm on the last song of my 3rd straight radiohead album. i've sang a few verses, got teary eyed during high and dry (i am, after all, seeing the world solo and not with a lover or mate), did outdoor yoga with their songs accompanying me, as i gazed over the front yard mountains that've called to me regularly since my arrival. right now, radiohead are fading out (street spirit), so i shall do likewise.
dr. braulio xavier torres - btorresrojas@hotmail.com (506) 8818-8418 or ask me any questions you may have, if'n you're on the lookout for some quality medical tourism. he, and central america, seem to specialize in that.
cheers
i had my initial dental exam yesterday - 15 cavities. this made more sense to me that my US dental exam, seeing as i can see 9 front cavities, and i know there are ones in the back, too. i went forward with the cleaning. then got the estimate - over $900. my uplifted being sunk. that would be a huge portion of my saved funds. maybe 6 months or more of central american living on a volunteer basis. i scheduled to come back in the afternoon and get the most diseased tooth worked on, but i wasn't sure i'd be fixing all my teeth.
enter sadness. like a windfall - me being hurt by the news of a dental bill double over what i was hoping for/expecting - hurt begat hurt. now i was sad. and lonely. and missing the world i knew. longing to talk to others. to loved ones. resisting that. deciding i'd resolve these feelings within myself.
reading helped - i'm taking my good ol' beatnik time through on the road, wondering if dean moriarty looks as much like me as he seems like me, to me. the internet didn't help too much; if anything, it worked against me, seeing as people were so close, and as the saying goes, so far away.
it also helped that, upon re-arriving at the dentist office, Dr. Torres had decided i was not a rich american, and decided to strike a deal with me. he'd cut my bill by 1/3 - $600 flat, to fix and fill all 15 cavities + the exam and cleaning. in return, i would talk him up to tourists, and if applicable, friends and family. i also helped him make his broken english business card into proper english, and we decided together that i'd pass out some cards of his. done. let me shake your hand over and over. you have my gratitude.
he then filled 2 cavities. i opted for no anesthesia. my mouth is not quite james frey level, but still, 15 cavities w/out a pain killer could be, err...painful. the largest and deepest cavity came first - he spent awhile with that drill, but it was hardly what i'd call painful. stubbing my toe hurts more. an intense hike, or better yet, the day or 2 after the intense hike, hurts much more. this was more like a gnat.
i thought of fight club asi had my eyes closed to start off, going to a painless happy place in my mind. no, i'd take this, feel this. and it was okay, even pleasurable, to be conscious and with all my senses and pain receptors active; i wouldn't lye about that :)
having a great sunset also helped. ditto a great score at the fruit stand's garbage can just after the seller packed up shop for the night. same for an early and great night's sleep. and yet...
and yet, i awoke sad. and dissatisfied. partly because i yearn for a lover's touch. mainly because, although the quaint town of Orosi is a lovely part of my foreign path, i don't see myself here long. not as a hotel worker who's bound to a hotel, unable to roam freely, to walk freely, to jungle hike freely, for long bits of time. so i've been searching and sending out feelers to many places i've learned of old and new, in an effort to determine the next place or places i may go.
oh, i just may return here. but to the farm on the mountain top, where currently there are no active projects. but come january, there'll be a large project - building an earthship for a guy that may be john dunham's long lost brother; i took over for him, spent my first few days with him, engaged in hrs upon hrs of conversation, often led by him. he's a fun dude, and i smile thinking of him, and john.
i wasn't willing to return to what i knew today through touch, but i did return in spirit. i'm on the last song of my 3rd straight radiohead album. i've sang a few verses, got teary eyed during high and dry (i am, after all, seeing the world solo and not with a lover or mate), did outdoor yoga with their songs accompanying me, as i gazed over the front yard mountains that've called to me regularly since my arrival. right now, radiohead are fading out (street spirit), so i shall do likewise.
dr. braulio xavier torres - btorresrojas@hotmail.com (506) 8818-8418 or ask me any questions you may have, if'n you're on the lookout for some quality medical tourism. he, and central america, seem to specialize in that.
cheers
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